


Friendly Competition

by AuroraNova



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 19:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8339341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraNova/pseuds/AuroraNova
Summary: Who has a more stressful life, Jon or his cousin?





	

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I don't own anything and make not a cent from this piece.

“I tell you, Jon, if things don’t ease up I’m going to start pulling my hair out.”

Jon eyed his cousin Pete dubiously over the light years.

“What?” asked Pete.

“You aren’t the only one with a stressful life, you know.”

“Hey, you’re the captain. People have to listen to you.”

Jon barely repressed a snort. “It’s a nice theory.”

“Kids, on the other hand, don’t feel they have to listen to you.”

“I have a Vulcan first officer who, if she puts her mind to it, can find some loophole in my orders so that she can do whatever the hell she wants.”

“Only one? I have three teenagers who do that.”

“She’s inspired my chief engineer and armory officer, and the three of them can think circles around me when it comes to advanced physics.”

“At least you don’t have to stay up late worrying when someone’s late for curfew.”

“Nope. Just when away teams are late for check ins.”

“And the drama! Do you have any idea how much drama a sixteen year old girl can create?”

“It can’t possibly be more than eighty-one people crammed together in a small ship. The biologists and geologists are currently refusing to speak to each other. Something about a rock with moss on it. Last week Tucker and Reed came to blows over power allocation-”

“That doesn’t sound very professional.”

“There was intoxicating fruit juice involved. It turned out that the juice fermented very quickly when exposed to air. I’ve been informed by reliable sources that no less than four couples hooked up while intoxicated, and we’re still fixing C Deck from the minor explosion caused by inattention to chemistry experiments.”

“You want to talk property damage? Ella forgot to yield when turning left on a green light. Three-car accident, and our insurance shot up, of course. Sixteen is too young to drive.”

“That’s not what we thought when we were sixteen.”

“Well, it is.”

“Speaking of property damage, we ran into some Nausicaans yesterday. Aft hull plating repairs are still ongoing.”

“At least you don’t have to pay insurance on _Enterprise_.”

“I have seven different forms to fill out, an armory officer who won’t rest until he’s satisfied with the repairs, and I’m pretty sure I just pissed off the Nausicaan captain since my communications officer suspects that the Nausicaans were using language which implies an ongoing feud.”

“I have an ongoing feud with the sports anchor.”

“I hardly dare ask.”

“It started when he was trash talking the coaching for Liv’s soccer team.”

“Isn’t Sandy the coach?”

“Assistant coach, but yeah, and when I told him my wife’s the assistant coach, he just dug in his heels. Just because his kids go to the rival school and he’s Mr. Hotshot Sports Anchor, the bastard. Us lowly local reporters do a hell of a lot more work, but he thinks he’s a Hollywood A-lister.”

“And you’re blameless in this fight, I’m sure.”

“I may have implied that his daughter is only the goalie because of his position. But only after he went on about our team bribing the refs, which is complete and utter crap. And I’ve had a headache for a week because Joey decided to take up drums.”

“I had a headache for a week because fungal spores got into the ventilation system.”

“Speaking of ventilation systems, I finally figured out the problem with our heat ducts.”

“The ones that randomly stopped working and started back up again?”

“Right. Turns out there were a couple of stray kittens living in them and they were blocking the heat. They didn’t appreciate being removed either. Look at these scratches.”

“That’s nothing. Look at this.”

“That’s a serious sunburn.”

“It’s not sunburn, it’s an acid burn, and it’s a lot better than it was.”

“How did you burn your shoulder so badly?”

“We were trying to figure out what happened to the research team on Kopernik VI’s largest moon.”

“And?”

“We disturbed a pair of dragons.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to be hit with dragon acid?”

Pete was silent for a moment, taking this in. When he finally spoke again it was simply to say, “You win.”


End file.
